Tea Time

Today, I took the day off of work to have tea with my little one.  Little Sis's preschool class held their annual mother's day tea this morning.  It was a lovey morning full of muffins, cookies and lemonade.  The best part, of course, is spending time with my daughter.

After the tea, we took off for Chick Fil A.  I really enjoyed having a meal with just one daughter for a change.  We shared french fries and enjoyed our favorites - chicken nuggets for her, spicy chicken for me.  She then went off into the play area, where she was the oldest for a change.  I was amazed at how brave she was, approaching the other kids, asking them to play with her.  A few months ago she would have never done that.  She's my shy one.  Big Sis is usually the one recruiting playmates and Little Sis stays in the background reaping her sister's hard work.

I really enjoyed having the day with my daughter.  I wish every day could be this way.  I hate missing out on breakfasts and bus stops and preschool drop off and pick up.  I miss the leisurely times in the backyard and random cuddle times in the middle of the day.  I never know how to cope with this.  In my normal day to day life, these things rarely happen.  It's rush rush rush.  I am determined to find a way to change this, before my girls get too big!

Take 2

I'm starting again.  Today.  For real.

I've always wanted to do this, yet I posted a whopping two posts and quit.  I don't know why.  God has kept blogging on my heart this entire time, but I've been afraid to commit.  I'm afraid to put myself out there.  But today is a new day and I am going to do this!

My heart right now is jumbled up.  I struggle daily with managing life - kids, marriage, a full time job, budgeting, working out, housekeeping, being a Girl Scout leader.  I always feel like it is too much.  I know I'm not alone but I feel like no one wants to admit that this is hard.  I want my life to be different.  I want peace, joy, and patience.  I need self-control, kindness and gentleness.  I need Jesus!

I guess this blog will be where I journal my misadventures as a busy working mom trying to figure it all out.  I hope to find other working moms in the process who can share their wisdom.  Together we can find a way to make the most of the days the Lord has given us!

Paralyzed

I am a procrastinator.  A really good one!  It bothers me and drives my hubby nuts.  But I’ve learned something about myself this week.  Many times I procrastinate because I’m afraid.  Never thought about it that way before, but it is true.

I am reading the book Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer right now.  She suggests that each week you focus on one of her twelve thoughts and the Bible verses that go along with it.  This week the thought is “I will not live in fear”.  At first, I thought this should be easy, after all I’m not afraid of anything major.  Just the usual – bees, spiders, thunderstorms, etc.   And I don’t encounter those things often enough that they affect my day to day living.  

But as I read I realized fear goes deeper than that.  We can be afraid of rejection.  Of failure.  Of success.  Of being laughed at.  Or not laughed at.  I realized then that I have many fears that paralyze me.  These include fears of rejection, failure and confrontation.  Which is why I’m starting this blog today.  I’ve wanted a blog as long as I’ve known what one as.  But to be honest, I am afraid.  What if no one reads this?  What if someone does read this?  What will people think of me?  Will it be good?  Or bad?  Do I know what I’m doing?  These thoughts  scare me to the point of putting this off “just one more day” again and again and again.  The time will be right eventually, right?  But no, I will not live in fear!  I believe the Lord has placed this desire in my heart so here I am.  Taking a step of faith, even if is only a teeny tiny one.  It’s still a big deal to me.  And hopefully it is one little step in the direction of trusting the Lord in all I do.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  - Joshua 1:9