Computer Free Weekends

I've finally come to the point where I can admit that I'm addicted to the internet.  No matter what I'm doing, I always want to go online and see if there's a better way.  I want to find a better checklist for keeping my home clean.  I want to find better books to read.  I want to find the best buffalo chicken dip recipe.  If I'm not looking for ways to improve myself, I want to see what everyone else is doing.  I need to check up on the million blogs I follow, see what my IRL friends are doing on Facebook and check out the latest pins on Pinterest.  And did anyone send me an email in the last 10 minutes???  I need to check again, and again...and again.

No wonder I am always feeling anxious, unfocused and unproductive!

This habit of constantly going online has got to stop, so I've created a new rule for myself.  From the time I get home from work on Friday afternoons until Sunday evenings, I cannot use my computer.

I've done this the past two weekends and it has been amazing!  I am feeling more productive.  I am more patient with the girls.  I am relaxed and able to enjoy myself.  I'm learning not to wonder if there's a better way to mop the kitchen floor or worry about what my neighbor is doing on her weekend trip to Washington D.C.  Instead I'm focusing on the here and now and it is wonderful!

In addition, this reflection has made me realize that I've been turning the internet into a god.  When I'm worried, stressed, confused, I go online instead of to God.  I've come to the point where I feel the internet has all of the answers.  Do I trust the internet more than God?  My actions seem to say so.  I spend more hours than I want to know online, yet I probably only spend one hour a week in God's word.  I go online more often than I pray.  I wonder what the internet will tell me about my latest problem rather than seeking God's guidance.  There's something seriously wrong with this picture and it needs to change.  I pray my computer free weekends are the beginning of a new way of living for me.

I've linked up with Works for Me Wednesday today.  Go there for more great tips and tricks!

Paralyzed

I am a procrastinator.  A really good one!  It bothers me and drives my hubby nuts.  But I’ve learned something about myself this week.  Many times I procrastinate because I’m afraid.  Never thought about it that way before, but it is true.

I am reading the book Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer right now.  She suggests that each week you focus on one of her twelve thoughts and the Bible verses that go along with it.  This week the thought is “I will not live in fear”.  At first, I thought this should be easy, after all I’m not afraid of anything major.  Just the usual – bees, spiders, thunderstorms, etc.   And I don’t encounter those things often enough that they affect my day to day living.  

But as I read I realized fear goes deeper than that.  We can be afraid of rejection.  Of failure.  Of success.  Of being laughed at.  Or not laughed at.  I realized then that I have many fears that paralyze me.  These include fears of rejection, failure and confrontation.  Which is why I’m starting this blog today.  I’ve wanted a blog as long as I’ve known what one as.  But to be honest, I am afraid.  What if no one reads this?  What if someone does read this?  What will people think of me?  Will it be good?  Or bad?  Do I know what I’m doing?  These thoughts  scare me to the point of putting this off “just one more day” again and again and again.  The time will be right eventually, right?  But no, I will not live in fear!  I believe the Lord has placed this desire in my heart so here I am.  Taking a step of faith, even if is only a teeny tiny one.  It’s still a big deal to me.  And hopefully it is one little step in the direction of trusting the Lord in all I do.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  - Joshua 1:9