Paralyzed

I am a procrastinator.  A really good one!  It bothers me and drives my hubby nuts.  But I’ve learned something about myself this week.  Many times I procrastinate because I’m afraid.  Never thought about it that way before, but it is true.

I am reading the book Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer right now.  She suggests that each week you focus on one of her twelve thoughts and the Bible verses that go along with it.  This week the thought is “I will not live in fear”.  At first, I thought this should be easy, after all I’m not afraid of anything major.  Just the usual – bees, spiders, thunderstorms, etc.   And I don’t encounter those things often enough that they affect my day to day living.  

But as I read I realized fear goes deeper than that.  We can be afraid of rejection.  Of failure.  Of success.  Of being laughed at.  Or not laughed at.  I realized then that I have many fears that paralyze me.  These include fears of rejection, failure and confrontation.  Which is why I’m starting this blog today.  I’ve wanted a blog as long as I’ve known what one as.  But to be honest, I am afraid.  What if no one reads this?  What if someone does read this?  What will people think of me?  Will it be good?  Or bad?  Do I know what I’m doing?  These thoughts  scare me to the point of putting this off “just one more day” again and again and again.  The time will be right eventually, right?  But no, I will not live in fear!  I believe the Lord has placed this desire in my heart so here I am.  Taking a step of faith, even if is only a teeny tiny one.  It’s still a big deal to me.  And hopefully it is one little step in the direction of trusting the Lord in all I do.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  - Joshua 1:9